Every other Wednesday, 7-9:30 PM
April 1 - August 19
Suggested donation of $5 per session
Join us every other Wednesday beginning January 7 for an open meeting with other men on the island. Drop ins are welcome.
What is a mens group?
It’s a group of guys who meet regularly and privately to help each other be the best they can be in every area of their lives. A men’s group challenges the myth that you are the only guy that has ever dealt with challenge x, y, or z. Men's groups provide clarity, challenge, accountability and support for you to focus on what matters most to you.
What men’s groups are not:
Don’t worry, men’s groups are not group therapy, although they can be very therapeutic. Men’s groups are not a bunch of guys sitting around a fire singing Kumbaya. Men’s groups are not a bunch of weird freaky men just talking about their feelings (although I can be weird and freaky and talk about my feelings).
Men’s groups are definetly not for dudes who would rather keep things very much on the surface and who are afraid of intimacy, although a group can help with that guy’s fears.
Remember, a men’s group is for a brave man who is willing to face the music of his own life. There are men’s groups all over the world right now, each with it’s own unique flavor and purpose.
A men’s group can be a great support when you are going through a tough time in your life and need support. A men’s group can also be a place where you celebrate the victories in your life with great people and explore what is possible in your life. Listen to a few men discuss the value of a men’s group here.
Ultimately, a men’s group will challenge you to be who you are without hesitation, reservation or apology so that you can be the powerful guy you are who is free, fulfilled and full of energy to serve the world.
WHY JOIN A MENS GROUP?
Partnership. This is about relationship. Ever heard of a business partner? An accountability partner at the gym? A partner for life? Like it or not, a men’s group is a committed partnership. Even if you don’t like a guy in your men’s group, you get to practice being in partnership, in relationship, with him. You are there to hold each other accountable to what you say you will do.
When you join a men’s group, you make a commitment to the men in your group to stay in the fire of the relationship without bailing out. For most guys, when things get hard, they just leave. For guys in a serious men’s group, they get in the ring and stay in the ring. When it’s time to leave, it gets talked about directly.
Power. Most men just don’t have access to their full conscious power as a man. Men’s groups help you get in touch with your full power–express it, share it and be witnessed in it.
Purpose. A common thread in a men’s group is the common purpose which we are discussing here. But within the context of the group purpose is each individual purpose. Do you know why you are on the planet? What is your life’s purpose? A men’s group can help you explore this.
Presence. A men’s group without presence is a big fat waste of time. It’s just another intellectual discussion about concepts. When men learn to become present with their experience in the moment, they are more likely to feel and more likely to be congruent. In a men’s group, you learn tools to help you “get present.”
Principled. Essentially, this means integrity. You do what you say you will do because you know your values and where you stand. You know yourself well enough to have principles. However, contrary to a lot of men, these are constantly evolving to support your evolution as a man.
Practice. Men’s groups are all about practice for the real world. Just like a basketball player practices free-throws so he is more likely to sink them in the big game, when men practice being authentically themselves, they are more likely to stay authentic and open in the real world.
For example, I might practice saying something hard in my men’s group to another man, so that I have more confidence to say it to my boss the following day.
In a group of guys in this context, you practice:
- congruence–(thoughts, words, & actions all line up)
- being authentic (being who you really are without hiding)
- taking responsibility
- openness, open heartedness (really listening to, and understanding, others)
- feeling your feelings
- speaking your truth & skillful communication (i.e. dealing with conflict)
Possibility. Ah yes, what is possible for you and each man in the group? Individually? Collectively? More on possibility here.
Play. A group of guys getting together in this way can be very serious. That’s why we need to lighten up in every group and have some fun. This can happen before, during or after your group. I’m a serious guy, so play is critical for me to stay open to my smile, to my laughter and to having fun with bros I care about.
For example, the men’s group I’ve been in for the past five years just implemented a monthly night to celebrate together and play together.
Why Not Turn To Women For Support?
It is a common experience among men to go to their girlfriends or wives for support, emotional or otherwise. Women get tired of this dynamic. They don’t want to be your lover and your mother. Women tell me all the time how they wish their partner had more quality man friends.
Only seeking support from women is a slippery slope. That is why it is critical to get some honest feedback from your fellow men. We need support and wisdom from both sexes if we want to grow as men.